Irish Dancing During Hard Times

Hello Irish Dancers!

Recently, my grandpa was diagnosed with lung cancer that has spread to his bones.

The World Irish Dance championship is about 5 weeks away and my mom just told me that my dad might not be going with us because he wants to stay with his dad. Not only will it be a big fight for my grandpa, it will be a big fight for me and my family.

It is hard to focus on my dance goals with him ill like this. Sometimes, I wonder if I should bother going to London. Sometimes I feel selfish going to dance class when he is struggling with this.  Sometimes dance feels like such a small thing when someone I love is dying.

I went to dance class last night and as soon as I got into my mom's car, all this built up emotion just came out. My mom just let me cry. There really is nothing to say. Everyone is feeling like this at our house.

But I can't quit.

I love being able to go to practice and NOT think about cancer or sadness or death. It keeps my mind occupied.  All those bad images in my head are being swept away with every dance correction and repetition.  When I kick or jump that worrisome energy is being whisked out of my body. I am quiet inside and I am numb.

I am so grateful for dance because it allows me to release all that sadness and anger through sweat. I love using all that energy on the floor.

When I dance it gives me hope.

Dance is a place that is all mine.  It is my space that I own.

On the other hand, I am so grateful for the comfort my dance family gives me by asking about him. They know exactly when to ask me and when to dance silently beside me.

I know my grandpa would want me to go. And when I am on that World stage, I will do those rocks and that birdie jump with passion because those are his favorite steps.

Have you danced through a painful time in your life? What did dance do for you? 

My Papa and I 

"Let your faith be bigger than your fears" ~unknown